I am more than my body
I haven’t been watching the Olympic Games, but I’ve seen the highlights and the news about breaking down the ingrained sexism in the sport’s world. It amazes me that uniform regulations have become the prevalent topic of conversation, because women decided to wear less revealing clothes. But when teams are being penalised for covering their bodies, for making choices that don’t impact on their sporting abilities, as much as it does to the preferred aesthetics of those watching it; I still think it doesn’t come down to sexism only, but also to ‘not having agency over our own bodies’ — still.
Talking about bodies, let’s start from the beginning… as much as we talk about loving our bodies, self-love, body acceptance, body connection etc. I often wonder what it all actually means? Does loving my body mean I love the shape of my body? Does it mean I love the way it looks? Does it mean I love the way it feels? Are we talking about able bodies only or all bodies? Are we talking about the ideal of a body construct we are meant to love? Sometimes I think that our cultural conditioning and how we’ve been made to obsess about our bodies has served as a way to keep women small, think about it: the more worried, obsessed, focused on conforming to an imposed stereotype, the less involved we become in what is taking place in the society/world we live in — Bingo!
The second little girls are born it’s about staying small, about controlling appetite, about controlling our desires, about not being hungry, about staying small not only in our bodies but also in how we behave, present ourselves, speak, express our ideas etc. That’s the price we pay, that’s the opportunity cost and it costs us life. It’s so tiering going against the current, raising a daughter who’s never going to be a size “zero” (and neither should she!) in a world that applauds and rewards “the small”.
Since with age comes wisdom (hopefully), I found myself looking and perceiving women differently ever since turning 40. When I look at women nowadays, I can see that we all have different goals, dreams, vibes and aspirations. When I look at women who I can tell has spent a lot of their time, their precious life controlling their bodies, it no longer looks aspirational to me. The kind of women, bodies that inspire me nowadays are the ones that look like they’re enjoying life! Those that allow themselves to indulge sometimes, those who don’t spend all day/everyday punishing themselves for not having the body our culture told us we should have.
Thinness is not about beauty, it’s about obedience.
GLENNON DOYLE
Up until 2016 I had a fairly structured exercise routine, I used to go to the gym and/or to pilates 3–4 times a week, and I felt bad when I didn’t make it — mind you, I was raised in the most “body obsessed” country in the world (Brazil) and I live by the beach at an equally body conscious culture. But when I moved to Austria in 2016 and spent three years wearing winter clothes, I realised that my body continued to provide for me without having to punish it into submission to achieve “the perfect summer body” — it was so liberating! My exercise of choice became walking, hiking at times and instead of hating every minute at the gym, I began to enjoy exercising because of my surroundings.
It doesn’t mean that I don’t look after myself (my body), but nowadays I think in terms of happiness as opposed to looks. No, I’ve never dieted and I don’t believe in diets — I love chocolate and it makes me cranky and unbearable to be around when I feel deprived. But I’ve always took the stance of ‘anything in moderation’. I do watch my weight not because I need to look a certain way, but because a) I am not tall, b) I want to be healthy should I ever have grandchildren and c) I still want to live a long life with my husband — but I digress.
This whole love your body mantra, to me means trusting that our bodies have the wisdom equal to, or more attuned than the rational wisdom we have. It’s saying and believing that our bodies will return to that which it needs to be. We’ve been indoctrinated to doubt our bodies, we’re born and throughout our lives everybody tells us we can’t trust any part of ourselves — you can’t trust your anger, your ambition, your desires, your hair, your thighs, your wrinkles etc. It’s all about change, change, change, control, control, control — as if we, as we are is wrong!
If we don’t trust our bodies, we’ll never know the power our bodies hold.
UNKNOWN
I love this concept… in order to stop obsessing, cursing, perfecting, punishing our bodies like it’s the only thing we have to offer the world. What if started thinking about our bodies differently? It’s not an easy task, especially after decades of negative conditioning, but I love the way Glennon Doyle approaches the subject:
Our bodies are not our art, they’re our paintbrush. What is relevant is what we do with our paintbrush, what’s important is how we use that paintbrush to transfer our insides onto the canvas of our lives.
When it comes to our precious children, remember that “all the water in the world cannot sink a ship unless it gets inside.” Keep them safe, away from unrealistic body constructs.
