Have you noticed the stars?
I am working from home today… during this crazy pandemic time, a simple sore throat and a headache elicits one to stay home, get a Covid-19 test and isolate for 48 hours until results come back — hopefully negative!
The thing about working from home is that it’s too distracting for me. When I am at the office I have my “work hat” on, but when I am at home I keep on swapping hats — I see what I want to work on in the garden, I see the dust accumulating, I see the washing that nobody took off the line, I see tea and biscuits every time I walk from my sunny living room through the kitchen on my way to the bathroom, I see all the books I want to start reading sitting on my bookshelf calling my name, my dog keeps doing this ‘in and out’ thing, my kids have no self-awareness and keep asking me questions… my focus is shot to pieces.
In one of those moments of lack of focus, I picked up a book and the first quote I read was:
What we would do if the stars only came out once every thousand years? No one would sleep that night, of course. The world would create new religions overnight. We would be ecstatic, delirious, in raptures by the glory of God. Instead, the stars come out every night and we watch television.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON
And it prompted a new cascade of thoughts… When there was no television, no internet nor mobile phones the killing of time of everyday activities and of life in general (e.g. waiting for the bus that was late) used to give us the opportunity to mentally and emotionally resolve things in our own heads and most importantly, to get over ourselves. The parents of that time didn’t do interventions, children couldn’t attack a friend with a tirade of abusive texts. We endured and we joined life in its “it is what it is” or “you get what you get and don’t get upset” scenario. Yet, what do we tend to do nowadays? rail, blame, fix things in a huff, miss the beauty around us, ignore the opportunity to smell the roses, don’t remember to watch the stars at night. Most of us has few obstacles, guardrails or rituals that force us to sit with ourselves and “deal with it or suck it up”. When someone is late we don’t think twice before sending a passive aggressive text saying “late ?”, if we’re feeling under the weather we opt for canceling a meeting via text (even if last minute) instead of just showing up and smiling through our under the weather-ness. We gained a lot of freedom with technology, but our characters have become so entitled that we no longer cultivate real friendships or meaningful interactions anymore — nature is something we see on television.
I am guilty too. I live a short walk from the beach, in 10–15 minutes I can be on the sand with my feet on the water, do you think I make the most of it on a daily basis? NO. I make excuses not to wake up early during the working week in the hope that I can sleep in (I am not a morning person) and I leave the enjoyment of my natural surroundings to the weekend… even then, if life gets in the way and I miss my window of opportunity. It’s a shame that more and more we walk through life wearing a vail hiding our true selves in the beautiful lace we’ve chosen to portray our image through — behind our devices and our perfectly put together Instagram profiles. And as much as there is relief in moments like those, when they’re gone and we’re alone with ourselves the New Normal takes place — a state of semi-terror at the thought of failing, running out of time, getting hurt, being rejected and never fulfilling the dreams we’ve so believed were possible.
When did we stop caring about the really important stuff? If we stop caring about the small stuff (returning text messages, picking up plastic at the park, not using plastic straws, living by the beach and making it to the beach), how do we get the enthusiasm to start caring about the big stuff? Where do we draw the line about what we care about and what we give up on? Isn’t it easier to show care whenever there is an opportunity? Do we even know what caring is nowadays? I think mos of us confuse capitalism with love and care. We buy too much so called “needed” stuff for our babies and we buy an expensive coffin for our parents, we set our dinner table with our best china when hosting our friends, but won’t do the same for ourselves once in a while. We buy beautiful lingerie for special occasions, but forget that today is a special occasion should we not wake up tomorrow. Essentially, we buy our way to love when in reality caring and simply loving is enough.
I think I am rambling now… perhaps it’s one of those moments where I feel conflicted by what I “have to do” and what I “would love to do”, perhaps it’s the contrast between responsibility and a carefree life, perhaps it’s the realisation that my kids are closer to being adults than children, or it’s just the fact that I am missing the freedom to “come and go” while locked up in Australia unable to see my parents, my sisters and my friends back home.
Well, onwards… there is still enough reasons to smell the roses.
It’s no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society — Krishnamurti.
